Solutions and Content... Have I Got Your's!

Not really.

I am on a few email lists that are basically lists of shmoes that are OK with being marketed to in a direct emailing format, as that is all they do. I only stay on as I do pick up the odd idea that I may want to look into further.

That is not why I am posting. I am posting to let out a little rant steam on the "content" phrase. I recall a number of years ago when the word "solution" hit the market and everyone had my "solution".

First off, what is the problem that I need a solution for in the first place? Companies were using "Solution" in their business name, their marketing, advertising, client correspondence... anywhere they could shoehorn in the word solution to sound more technologically savvy, it was jammed right in there in big bold colourful type.

Many are still using it but it has turned into a technical term having to with actually having a solution to a particular problem.

OK, enough about that.

Now, it's all about "content". In order to successfully market anything I have to have THE content, current content, new content, interesting content.... my content even has to be a solution for some problem that I can come up with. If I say I have a new post worth reading I should tell people that it has great content meeting some or all of the above criteria.

"Have I got some content for you".... gimme a break. I am getting tired of having people tell me that they have great content, let me see the information that you are attempting to dispense and I can decide if the information is useful or applicable for me.

Jeff.

Being my own boss.

I know many people would love to be their own boss. Imagine the flexibility of self scheduling, the luxury of setting your own targets, goals and looking after your own paycheque.... here is where you hear the music end as the record scratches to a stop.

Reality.requires context.

There are as many ways to fail at starting and operating your own business as there are people who try it, it's tough. I happen to be lucky in that I did not start the business that I am in, I sort of fell into it as it was an already  established family business. I have done everything there is to do in the business and now I get to be, for the most part, my own boss. I have been here for over 25 years after all. At one point I could say that I installed enough systems that I doubled our client base... not without other help of course.

The trouble is that sometimes, maybe more often than I know, I would love for someone to say "do this to the exclusion of everything else". You see, I am in a very interrupt driven environment. Alarm systems, installation, monitoring and service. The very nature of alarms and the reasons why people need them makes this interrupt driven. I set a target or goal and I know that I can meet them, just not necessarily on any known timeline. While the cause of an interruption takes a certain length of time to address, the interruption lasts for a lot longer as it takes time to get back into the "groove". This is frustrating and is often cause to drop a project or even a time consuming task that needs to get done.

As a result of the environment I tend to not honour my target timelines even without interruptions, almost as if I assume I will have them so why bother.

I need to be a tougher boss for me in order to get to the end of some of the piles of stuff that I need to get through.

Well, that was a rambling bit of writing.

Jeff.

Technology Woes

I am between computers, in a sense. My older laptop has been relegated to my daughter's use so getting it to do anything is a hassle, unplugging, plugging in (battery is only good fro about 5 minutes... I did say it was older). Then there is the main PC, less than a year old. Kate put a split ergonomic keyboard on it, I don't much care for it due to it's very nature. I also still tend to look at the keys sometimes and the letters have started wearing off already. I just don't like using it unless I have to.

So, I have been away from most blogging and what not. I get emails and do some correspondence on my ipod or at work but neither lends itself well to actually blogging anything more than a sentence or two. Well, work is OK but I just don't take the time as I am quite busy any more. It takes me the better part of the day to whack together my thoughts with a minute here and a minute there. Then I have to re-read to see where I was and where I was going.

I am expecting a newer laptop this week. It's a hand-me-down, like most of my computers are except the one home PC, but it is in great shape, the battery is still good for hours and it has the built in WiFi that is so handy at home. It's a wider screen format, I like those better even though the aspect leads to smaller fonts, they just appear cleaner due to the increased resolution.

There was a time when I had the smallest production laptop that still boasted a full size keyboard, less the number pad. Black and white monitor but was it handy at the time.It used a small trackball instead of a touch pad. Now the laptops are getting bigger and notebooks and tablets are taking over the small catagories.

So, hopefully I can catch up on my blogging in the next little while.

Jeff.

First portrait re-visited.

Last month I posted a first attempt portrait from a picture reference. The picture was an image off of the internet and the printed out copy was poor quality and the original was digitally airbrushed pretty heavily... that made it an easy one to work with as some of the details are missing that would make a "realistic" drawing much more complicated.

I am starting a re-do using a different method and graphite instead of charcoal. I look at the original attempt and see all sorts of things that I could do differently to provide a more curved looking surface to better match a true facial profile.

Here is the beginning. This uses a 6H pencil to get the primary details in place, note that this one has two eyes.

Something looks wrong in the apparent angle but I am thinking that it will correct itself as I add layers.

Jeff.

More eyes...

I have been doing some more testing of various pencils to come up with the right combination of technique and material to determine which direction that I want to head in my drawing. I had a desire to stick with charcoal in it's various forms, and my previous eye posting was using mainly compressed charcoal pencils and stubs to blend the charcoal. I tried 2H to 6B compressed charcoal and found it easy enough to work with and I like the blending but, unless the image is large the detail is tough to impart.

I have resisted using straight graphite as it tends to be grey and shiny and the result is typically less contrast. The trade off is that more detail can be incorporated and the application of graphite is easier to control than charcoal without having to blend anything and this works for smaller images. I have a range of 6H down to 8B which gives me a fairly wide range of contrast, I can add some of the charcoal if I want a blacker highlight contrast, pupil of the eye for example.

Here is a graphite eye that I tested with:

I added a darker charcoal blend pencil for the pupil. Now the iris needed a bit more work, actually the whole eye is still incomplete but this was only a play test to see how it would work out. I was concerned about the coal sticking to the graphite but it seems to have adhered decently.

So, I have reworked one picture using charcoal a couple of ways and now I have started one with graphite. It's not as interesting doing the same face multiple times but it gives me a frame of reference for direct comparison as well as a familiarity that allows me to lay the face out quickly for this sort of experimentation.

I'll post my next attempt.

Jeff.

Irish Cream, more cream and less Irish...or Bailey's on a Budget

Two years and change ago I started drinking coffee more regularly than just a weekend cup here and there. It was Christmas and Kate and I were enjoying the Holiday week off and coffees in the morning. I would put a tablespoon of Bailey's in mine or would choose to just not have coffee otherwise.

Well, it stuck and I have had one or two cups a day since.

Now a tablespoon or two of Bailey's a day doesn't sound like much but that stuff is expensive enough to notice when it is used that regularly. So I decided to make my own, partly for some cost savings and partly for adjusting both the flavour and the alcohol content of my morning brew. So online I went to find a recipe... there are quite a few. I settled on one that had the simplest ingredient list and no eggs... I just figured that raw eggs would not last as long as just cream.

My doctored recipe:

500 ml whipping cream (longest due date, highest fat content means less needed to "colour" the coffee)
250 ml Irish Whiskey (this is about half what is called for, in the interest of keeping the alcohol and cost lower)
1 can of sweetened evaporated milk
2 tablespoons chocolate syrup (not milk mixes, real thick dark chocolate syrup)
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Blend really well, but don't whip the cream. I use an immersion blender to keep the air out of the mix

The cream is doubled from other recipes I found and I use whipping cream (35%MF) instead of table cream (18%MF) so this keeps the consistency about the same. Just doubling the table cream would thin out the whole mix... off course half the whiskey also thickens it up a bit more too.

Alcohol content, once in the coffee is 0.1% or so by volume, I would probably get more just using mouthwash so I certainly don't worry about "drinking" in the morning.

Cost:
Bailey's at $15.00 for 375ml
My stuff at $5.35 for 375ml ($15.00 for a 1050ml batch)

So all in all I end up with a less expensive Irish Cream tailored specifically for my coffee consumption.

Jeff.

The Eyes Have It

These are a few of the eyes I have been playing with. For some reason I feel the need to draw eyes, which is counter to what I originally started out with in mind last year when I picked up pencils and paper. I wanted to draw landscapes and still life stuff... but the eyes have it for some reason. Now I am drawing people... mostly so far... as I am drawn to drawing eyes and, well, they go with people.

This was a quick test for sizing of an eye that is not looking straight out. I was getting ready to do another portrait style and wanted to see what size I wanted the eyes to be as they set the stage for the rest of the image. I started the final already based loosely on this test, which I think worked OK.

I did this little ditty to try a colour technique using chalk pastels and damp brush to set the colour to be able to put charcoal over top without picking up the yellow. It worked well but I got carried away with the colour and made it a rounder shape than the eventual eye was to be... that happens when I have no plan or saample but do something from my imagination.

This was the specific eye from my first portrait attempt from last week, I just put it in here as the focus of the portrait was the eye.

What does this have to do with "self" stuff... I think a lot as art is a direct connection to expression of some of what makes us tick. Exactly how I have no idea. Basically I am using this blog as a catch all for all stuff that may or may not be related to Searching for Self. Perhaps I will change the name sometime... perhaps not.

Jeff.

Winter's Edge

Snow begrudgingly recedes

Revealing winter's detritus

February sky obscured

Hidden splendor, unrealized

As winter clouds drag on

Leaching colour from the air

Driving into work the other day this sunrise was in process and I managed to snap off half a dozen shots with my ipod... I think that the graininess adds to the effect, and the lack of decent aperture adjustment, automatic or otherwise. I just pointed it out the windshield (there are a few smudges on the windshield) and snapped without looking at the screen, bad enough I was taking pictures while driving but watching the screen for the shots... I figured I would just take what I get.

Jeff.

Charcoal Drawing

Friday I decided to actually start drawing. I originally started a sketch blog but I have since decided that a purely drawing blog is not likely to work for me, too many specialized blogs, and I put a few doodlings, material tests and technique things in there more for future reference as charcoal (my medium of choice) tends to smudge easily.

Anyway, here is my first attempt at a portrait from a picture reference, charcoal on paper.

This was just an image off of the internet so I have no idea who it might be. I intentionally left off one eye as I ended up with some marks on the page which would have been right in the white of the eye... and I liked this image as there was no hair in the picture (she was wearing a head wrap of some sort)... I've never attempted hair so I am not sure how it would turn out. As I was filling in shadows (which I still should work on more) I realized how touched up the JPG was as there were lighting affects which were next to impossible. Also the printed copy loses all contrast graduation in the darker areas.

I now see a line on her back that I didn't notice before too. I may come back and redo the entire drawing some time and use some techniques that I figured out part way through. This would both speed up the process and probably make the final product look more natural.

Jeff.

The Procrastinatative Ideal

Sure, procrastinatative can be a word...

The title sounds sort of oxymoronic, how can procrastination be ideal for anyone? Well, as I covered some of the aspects of my procrastination already I won't get to case specific but there is an aspect that is interesting to look at.

Procrastination promotes intuitive thinking, or unthinking, by forcing me to do tasks involved in a project under a shorter time frame than most would find comfortable. I know that I have started certain projects and found that the project is large enough that the sheer scope of the work is imposing enough to stop me in my tracks... I cannot get started as I may not know exactly where to start, how to organize myself and the related material or perhaps I have many ideas and cannot pick which to settle on.

Once I get down to it with what feels like enough time left, various ideas become one or two primary ones and the first step is immediately apparent. It all just comes to me and everything flows and just feels right and my time sense is typically pretty close. Organization is no longer an issue as I find and apply resources and materials as needed while scrapping useless and irrelevant stuff.

Now the ideal would be to be able to do this long before the deadline as I do realize that other unexpected stuff could come up making it impossible to complete the intended project... or something vital is just missing. Although the only times that I can recall this actually happening I ended up either not needing to do what I originally set out to do or the unexpected was more important and I found that my deadline was more flexible once my true priorities were set in place.

It's not so much the procrastinating, but the pushing the edge once the crunch is on, it's that space where everything flows that is the real draw. Of course there is the time not wasted doing tasks or chasing ideas that are not really useful.

Having said all that I am not aiming to keep procrastinating, just reflecting on how it has been useful to me over the years, more or less, by default. My preference is to apply the same skills that I have developed, intuition, organization and focus, in order to complete projects without the tight time lines.

Jeff.

LETTING GO is more than just letting go...

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."

Albert Einstein, (there are many variations of the wording of this quote, perhaps it was translated)

One of the base ideas that is out there now is that visualizing a desire as graphically as possible is a first step in attaining a goal or desire. The next would be holding that visualization until it feels real, then letting it go in order to not focus on it directly and thus allowing the Universe to come up with the means to the end regardless of what we think the means may be. Nice idea, and roughly correct. While this, all on it's own may work for some I really think that letting go needs to be done long before framing any particular goal or desire and with a different approach than we typically may apply now, or more accurately, have applied in the past.

If I alter the quote by replacing, "...solve our problems...", with, "...change ourselves...", it takes on a new context while still holding it's inherent truth.

"We cannot change ourselves with the same thinking we used when we created ourselves".

Consider that everything that IS and how we interacted, reacted and created our past makes us who we are, all of it by choice even if the choice was not apparent at the time. Everything that IS has already happened and everything from this moment and past, is immutable and needs to be let go.

Given this, letting go is more a matter of accepting what IS and disassociating from all that IS which requires different thinking than we have been employing up to now. We need to accept that we cannot change ourselves by interacting, reacting and making choices as we have in the past.

This is hard, no two ways about it. This old thinking has been going on from birth and is not going to change on a dime. There is no easy and quick methodology to do so, nor is there likely to be one that will work for everyone.

To use the overused business phrase, "on a going forward basis" our thinking will need to be incrementally altered as each new circumstance offers us a choice to make. Each choice will need to be deliberated upon until such time as our unconscious selves are re-programmed or re-trained to accept the new paradigm of thinking and eventually these choices will become automatic and intuitive.

This sums up where I am at now, on the road to unconscious re-programming. I started by attacking my procrastinative tendencies first figuring that everything else will fall into place much more easily once I stop putting it all off for some other time.

Jeff.

The ambiguity of "The Secret"

"Men do not attract that which they WANT, but that which they ARE"

-James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

I must preface the rest of this post by stating that I certainly have nothing against the ideas put forth in "The Secret", movie or book, as they are all valid in their own right. We have purchased and given away a  number of copies of each to people who we thought would benefit due to their open mindedness about things metaphysical. I may have mentioned the problem I do have with "The Secret" in the past, the heightened fluff factor as the content was diluted in order to be more saleable to the masses, marketing takes over and dislodges the real Secret.

The quote sums up, what I deem to be, the direction that the theory of metaphysical manifestation, as put forth in the movie "The Secret", should have taken. Basically there is a lot of wishful thinking and think happy thoughts going on, not by everyone though. There is a lack of action steps beyond mentioning that you must take action. I think they do mention "inspired action" a few times but it is couched in discussions which don't emphasize the importance of the action as strongly as perhaps it could have.

"Men do not attract that which they WANT..."

Although there was some mention of letting it go after putting what you want "out there" and imaginary creation, there was a huge emphasis on the attracting of what you want. Parking spaces, new cars, cash, homes, relationships...etc. Anyone can want any of these very strongly and imagine the desired result but inside, where it really counts, they often do not have the unconscious fortitude to actually put themselves into the situations where these are likely to come to fruition. Call it old programming getting in the way.

"... but that which they are"

Obviously nobody IS a parking space, car, cash... etc, but putting yourself into a receptive mindset both consciously and unconsciously can, and will, allow you to recognize instinctively what needs to be done in order to create the situation that will most likely result in the final manifestation of the desired ends. Put another way, programming your unconscious in a way that leaves your conscious mind free to do other things and, if your are receptive, you will be prompted by seemingly intuitive insights that take you toward your desired outcomes and away from the outcomes that are just not on your radar.

It is less about Law of Attraction and more about concentrated unconscious directives. Does one equate to the other? Perhaps. To the unaware bystander this may appear to them that you are just luckier than most.

I suppose that I should not be so harsh as anyone who is ready to take the next action steps will do so and perhaps as a direct result of having benefited from the content, after all... I am one case in point.

Jeff.

Meditating dog

I meditated today and, as normal, I had my meditating buddy with me. My dog Brandy always joins me and we meditate together... although I think I can learn a lot from her technique.

While these are grainy ipod pictures they get the point across. From left to right is Brandy preparing for meditation (she is sitting on my legs), then her in her favourite meditative position, and post meditation as she stretches those important barking and eating muscles getting ready for the day.

Today I chose a very short session of 15 minutes as I started late and I expect the rest of the family may start moving soon... I could always be wrong though, it is Saturday after all.

I did my normal muscle relaxation, a different anxiety clearing approach and did a short undirected meditation.

Interesting clearing as I tried something a little different, it just popped into my head to try at the moment.

Normally I just let any negative energy feelings leave without regard to their source or even physical manifestation symptoms (tight chest, butterflies, trepidatious feelings etc). Here is the post where I describe this method.

Today I asked my unconscious to identify these feelings and their associated causes first. I have a few things that are looming at home and work that came up with their respective feelings and, surprisingly, those feelings disappeared as they were noted.

I think that bringing a particular feeling to mind, then noting it's cause allows me to categorize each and puts me at ease as my thought process goes something like "OK, I know what has to be done, it's manageable and not worth the worry... what's next?". Sort of a quick mental to-do list management of the apparent most important and urgent issues. Whether they are actually the most important and urgent is really a whole other matter but they seem to have the largest psychological or unconscious footprint right now. 

 I still did my normal clearing exercise afterwards, which serves to clear any un-identified stressors, and felt unusually calm and relaxed afterwards.

So I will be using both techniques combined in future and perhaps fine tuning them a bit.

Jeff.

Acupuncture... just don't call me pincushion.

I had my very first acupuncture treatment yesterday on my shoulder. Interesting.

While I am not afraid of needles, I certainly have never liked them... or maybe it's the idea of someone else poking me full of holes that unsettles me.

I grimaced my way through it and my shoulder is sore today. I had four needles in various points in my shoulder and some electrical stimulation on the posterior muscles.

I think that the jury is still out on this one.

As a result my post will be brief due to my lack of interest in the idea. I do have two more sessions scheduled so I will give it a chance to prove beneficial.

Jeff.

Stress Elimination... if I had known it was so easy

I mentioned a stress relief method loosely in a previous post and referred to it as "dissolving stress". Perhaps that is not quite accurate, but to each their own.

The longer version:

I usually do this in the morning before anyone else is up and make it the first part of my meditation process as it actually clears my mind and emotions. I recognize stressful feelings within me as I sit quietly, relax my muscles, breath steady and find my center. The actual source of the feelings does not matter as it is the stress that I am removing from my body.

Keep in mind that feelings are reactions of the body to commands from the unconscious in reaction to various sensory stimuli. These stimuli can be external, sounds, smells, visual data etc or internal, memories or imaginary experiences. Consider what happens when you think about past events, perhaps a fight or dangerous situation. Your body has very similar reactions as if you were there, these can be strong or weak reactions but they are reactions none the less.

With my eyes closed I imagine what these reactions or feelings would look like if they were visible, I usually come up with a grey or black smoke roiling about inside of me, sometimes shot with colour, red or green not unlike seeing lightening in heavy clouds as a storm approaches. I open a path from me to an external point and visualize the smoke flowing away from me in a stream and filling a clear sphere in front of me. I let the flow continue until I feel the feelings dissipate and my visualized or imagine body clears of the smoke. as the last wisp leaves I see the sphere full of smoke in front of me and imagine it exploding in every direction... away from me as I don't want to inadvertently get some of this back. As the parts fly apart I imagine them to all disappear or burn up.

The timing is variable and, to be honest, I have no idea how long this takes from day to day. I just let it go until it feels that it is done. I do know that once I have cleared away this negative energy that I feel as if a fog has lifted and everything takes on a fresh new feeling and it lasts longer than I might had thought possible.

I also know that I am dealing with a variety of things that should, or perhaps would normally have caused me a great deal of stress and anxiety over the last few months, with almost no stressful feelings. It is getting to the point where I wonder if I shouldn't be allowing some of this stress to stay. I do realize that is just my old habit patterns and comfort zones kicking in to try to get me back to "normal".

Jeff.

Concentrated Unconscious Directive: 100's

I went back into my past and pulled some experiences of severe procrastination in action (or is that inaction?) and wrote short excerpts expressing the feelings that went along with them. I then re-wrote them in the way that I would have preferred to have them turn out in my ideal world and noted in each what, in particular I changed for the better. I then merged all of the good points and wrote a script that covered all aspects touched upon in these short descriptions and added some feeling, and came up with the generalized version of my ideal non-procrastination story. I mentioned this briefly in a previous post

I have re-written this many times to tweak it to be my perfect story and have repeatedly read this to myself while visualizing the ideal model each sentence or thought represents somewhere around 100 times. Each time I look for anything that bothers me about the story and re-write whatever part that is to make it more ideal. Each time I do this I re-read it at least 20 times to be sure that it still rings true.

Here is my current Concentrated Unconscious Directive:

"I feel fully engaged as I plan and compile a list of the various tasks and steps involved in a new project. After noting which items that I need help with, or could easily delegate, I follow up promptly and accordingly. I feel enthusiastic as I begin the first task.


Using a very concentrated focus I effortlessly fly through the subtasks. I know with certainty that I will easily meet the due date as all of my interim target dates are being met.


I sit back after just completing the last task and let the warm feelings of accomplishment flow through me as I reflect upon the whole experience of executing the project, not only on time, but ahead of schedule.


Definitely a success and a 10 on my scale of desirability.


This is an example of the way I would like to approach, plan, execute and experience all of my projects, large and small.


Please make this happen in ways that are for the highest good of me and of all concerned."


I plan on reviewing this each day by reading it 20 times as being sure that it remains ideal. This seems to serve me in ways that has me unconsciously looking for ways to get going on projects on the go. It does not replace good planning and execution but it spurs me on to actually do some of it. The last bit is the directive part as it serves as an instruction to my unconscious to observe what I visualize as ideal, then I back it up by stating that this what I want to happen.

Jeff.

Workload Paralysis, a chance to be objective

My eldest daughter is preparing for her grade 12 exams starting Thursday this week. Last night she was having some trouble, at the time I was not sure what it was but she was beside herself and practically in tears. Then it hit me as I noticed a familiar pattern.

I used to have trouble with having feelings of being overwhelmed by various tasks, projects and responsibilities, sometimes to the point where I would be on the edge of tears. Most times at least to the point of inaction... I just could not fathom what I had to do next as everything was seemingly as important or urgent as the next thing. The result was an emotional paralysis of sorts. It was not until fairly recently that I have managed to get over this tendency, after all it took many years to hone that skill of paralysis, it would take more than reading a book or doing an exercise to get over it.

Basically, I recognized her state and knew what she had to do to overcome her current state and move on. I often get told to not try to fix everything (apparently it's a guy thing) but this needed some action steps to get her through the ordeal.

I sat with her and had her list all of the projects, assign an approximate time to complete each and decide when each is going to be due. There was studying, labs, essays and a couple of other things. Once she had a concrete handle on everything and the scope of each on paper in front of her, it was easy to decide which to do first, second, etc. Her real trouble was trying to consciously juggle every project at once.

Ah, that brought back some old feelings of futility of my own.

Tonight she brought her English exam guide home to show me. That was the first subject requiring targeting, the exam essay questions. She may still have feelings of being overwhelmed but she has a plan now and is working towards her goal piece meal.

There is nothing quite like offering help to my kids and having it accepted and see it help them. Imagine that with a 17 year old.

Jeff.

-30 F, cold makes one think.

Today we hit our typical January lows. -33C (-27F, it's getting cold enough that they are close enough).

At least there is no wind chill with that.

Of course when temperatures get this cold here my thoughts wander to warm sandy beaches... OK... HOT sandy beaches. Sure, I could pack it all up and head South but this would be disruptive to the kids' routine as we need to address change of schools, missing friends and all that that would entails. The kids say they would be up for it, in fact I think that they have both suggested it separately to one time or another heading into this winter season.

Possible, but not too likely..

This year I am not bothered by the cold as much as I have in years past. I am not certain whether it is an acceptance of the cold as part of life in Canada or whether each year I just get more used to the short burst of extremely cold weather. It may even be that my relative time clock is picking up speed and the cold snaps seem shorter. The corollary is that the warm seasons may also seem relatively shorter.

The most likely reason is the fact that, for me, winter becomes a time of reflection as I am not one to do a whole lot of outdoor activities in the cold. Sitting in front of the fire is a favourite past time now. During these times of introspection I find a little bit more of myself and this adds up to a greater acceptance of my environment that I have chosen to live in as being a part of who I am, on a conscious level. I know that my environment really has nothing to do with the unconscious me.

The more I accept my outer trappings as a part of me the more I come to realize the less they really are. While this gap between who I think I am (conscious) and who I really am (unconscious) seems to be widening that is only a matter of perception.

Enough for the thinking bit for now.

Jeff.

Concentrated Unconscious Directive: Repetition

I like to write. It is almost more the technical part as pen puts ink on paper... typing, while not the same, has it's own variation of what makes it enjoyable. Writing on paper forces me to put my thoughts into a semblance of order so they make sense once I get to the end of the sentence.

The physical act of writing is a form of habit. Each stroke and letter is a practiced action that has developed over years by forming the same shapes on paper repeatedly. Eventually anything that is repeated many times becomes an almost automatic response... or more accurately, an unconscious response.

In the same line of thinking the unconscious act or writing can work in two directions. Just like learning the individual written letters and joining strokes through repetition, you are teaching your unconscious what you want to happen when you think of a particular letter or group of letters for each word.

Seeing as we seldom use much of our entire mental capabilities at one time (that's a whole other topic, suffice it to say that the classic 10% ever being used is just wrong but the total processing power is staggering none the less) and we can learn and memorize huge amounts of data that we are able to recollect at any given time I would think that our unconscious is capable of rather complex teaching patterns.

Back to the imaginative "great" experience from the last post about procrastination. I have already internalized the imagined experience of one case of overcoming procrastination but that can only do so much. So I write the scene out and embellish it to produce my ideal experience adding many details and feelings. Keeping in mind the unconscious capabilities for complex learning, I can, through repetition, teach my unconscious a new concept of what I would prefer instead of my typical procrastination. Obviously the best method to perform the repetition would be to write out the scene many times or perhaps just read it. Either way the idea is to allow myself to re-experience the ideal scene which embeds the the whole into my unconscious thinking. The next time an opportunity arises to procrastinate on that particular activity I will choose not to procrastinate on an unconscious level... or more accurately, choose to do what ever it is that is to be done.

The next step would be to generalize the imagined scene to allow it to encompass more than just one task. I may look at identifying the feelings that I experience when I do procrastinate and use those as a trigger to let me know when I need to engage the more enjoyable version of what I should be doing instead. I know those very well and they shouldn't be too hard to nail down in a descriptive manner.

Jeff.

Concentrated Unconscious Directive

I suppose this is part two from my last post. I would rather split these up in the interest of producing posts that are far easier to create and edit (not that I actually end up doing much editing). In other words, in a conscious effort to train my unconscious to get used to the idea of getting a post completed more often. I already have dozens of incomplete posts that, once I get past a certain length in the initial writing, I just come to a halt on and do not finish for often inexplicable reasons... or unconscious "reasons".

As I said last post, I don't believe that there is reason behind my unconsciousness.

Thinking back to many past procrastinated activities I consider what I felt at the time. It's not hard to do as putting my mind in the situation creates the exact same body feelings that I experience at the actual moment of procrastination. I find that this is as true with most remembered or even imagined experiences. My favourite is claustrophobia, which I don't have but I can create very strong physical feelings if I imagine some of the worst possible claustrophobic situations that I can come up with, in fact some that I have been in and only now thinking back on them creates those tight chested, heart racing, blood pressure spiking sensations.

Ok, back to procrastination, that little tangent is typical of my procrastinative  responses. I imagine a situation where I had opportunity to procrastinate but didn't, or at least not for long. This lets me feel the reaction that I have typically, then I can get past that to the part where I actually complete the task or get started on the activity. Then I focus on the starting or completion feelings and eliminate the initial negative ones.

Take my last post for example. I started it and finished it and it felt great to hit that "PUBLISH POST" button. In fact, I tune that up and create a stronger than good feeling, turn it into a great feeling. I enjoy creating these posts, I enjoy the little editing that I do and I enjoy hitting that "publish" button and I concentrate on that to make it a conscious great experience completed. This could have been any activity but this is the most recent.

I close my eyes and use the reverse technique that I mention in a past post about meditation and clearing. Rather than focusing on the inner negative energy and letting it flow to an external imaginary point and dissolving it, I focus on the seeming external imaginative "great" experience and let that associated feeling flow inward to infuse my inner Self while keeping it associated with starting and completing the activity or task. I avoid using any negative idea like "not procrastinating" as I feel that any negative will be counter productive in the un-reason of my unconscious.

And I find that I have completed another post and feel great about it.

The next step involves documenting this in a way that allows me to establish it as a high priority for my unconscious in order to over-ride the current automatic procrastination tendency.

Jeff.

There is no reason for procrastination

In keeping with the procrastination topic I decided to take a closer look at what it will take to overcome my procrastination issues. My reasoning here is that anything that I decide to attempt is often thwarted by my procrastination tendencies... even activities or tasks that I LIKE to do, forget for now about things that I don't like to do. So for me to even take steps toward any self improvement or other beneficial activities I need to overcome this issue first.

One example: My wanting to set up my bike on my stationary trainer to use during the winter.

I know I like to use it off season and I like the results in not losing my cardiovascular performance. I like listening to various musical selections along with the spinning techniques that match the music. I bought a top of the line trainer a few years ago so I wasn't dealing with substandard (for me) trainer issues. It's just an all round enjoyable part of my exercise routine in the winter and it certainly makes starting the spring cycling season much more enjoyable starting out more fit than having done nothing all winter long.

It took me until January to get this setup and using it for no other reason than I just didn't do it. Considering it took all of 10 minutes I cannot for the life of me figure out why I did not just do it two months ago. I chastise myself every time I thing about not getting things like this done, sometimes AT THE TIME OF NOT DOING THEM.

Obviously if I consciously WANT to do something, know that I will benefit from it, have no reason why not to do it then it just doesn't make any logical sense to me on a conscious level.

Enter the unconscious level.

Rather than trying to figure out my unconscious "reasoning", as I don't believe that there is reason involved in unconsciousness anyway, I decided to take a different approach. I will tell my unconscious what I want to do and establish a pattern that, like any habit, will become "second nature" to me. In other words I will create an unconscious directive.

To be continued (in keeping with my attempt to keep these posts shorter in order to overcome any resistance to getting into a long dissertation on any topic)

Jeff.

Wanted: Conscious Concentrated Effort

I know I am a habitual procrastinator, no news there. If a project can be put off until the last possible second I can manage to do it. In school it was studying, essays or assignments, cramming and working late to get what ever it is done. At work starting projects and multi-staged tasks, with the same overall M.O., start at the last moment.

The interesting part is that I also can manage to pull it off at that last possible second as well. School work, while not as good as it could have been was more than acceptable. Work work, same deal, which leads me to continue the pattern as if not only getting things done at the last moment, but starting them when I know there is just enough time to manage to finish on time. I find it interesting that I can manage some of these projects in that fashion.

The good, the bad and... well.... the comfort zone.

The good side of this procrastination streak is that there are many things that, upon closer inspection as a due date looms, they really need not be done at all. So what was the due date all about anyway?

The bad side is that it produces stress, stress that I am sure I could learn to live without... or could I?

Everything leads me to come to better understand where my comfort zone is. I feel comfortable doing things exactly the way that I do. At least I must if I cannot change my tendency to procrastinate.

Let's say that I actually got a head start on everything that I did and finished it all at least on time and perhaps ahead of time... what would be different? Well, I might not be stressed about the project, I expect that I would spend more time on it to get it just right and I would end up working on projects that may not be needed at all.

Right now I have a stack of paper on my desk that I know I could push through in 4 hours straight. I don't usually get that amount of time straight through so I keep telling myself, "if I just start it, I can get it done". We all know where knowing that leads... nowhere until the starting begins. And here I am writing a blog post about it rather than starting it.

Case in point.

Ultimately I am leaning toward conscious methods of applying the same absolute least amount of time to complete tasks and projects in a similar manner as I would if they were due right now. A directed concentrated effort but without the imposing deadline. I may need to change the way I view the end target, time of completion, as the stress is what seems to help me focus on the project with that single mindedness that I just don't manage otherwise... unless I am doing something that I really enjoy of course. Just starting it is not enough on it's own.

Jeff.